Spring Cleaning List: Engagement Rings

Flashback post from previous blog (circa 2011):

I am engaged to be “married.” I do not have an engagement ring. I made sure my partner knew early on that I did not want one, and I have to go through the reasons why quite often for other people, so after coming across this article from The Washington Post, I thought I would write about it.

If there are two certain things about me, it is that I am corny and I love symbolism. I love the symbolism of wedding rings, and I think it is endearing that our society has figured out a visual way to declare you are “taken.” But then we get to this beast of a predicament for me–the engagement ring.

I have saved every love letter, note, or card my future husband has ever given to me, and since the very first one, he has drawn a little ring at the bottom. It was this little symbol of what we both felt from the very beginning–that this was something good. He would periodically draw the same ring, over and over again, across 5 1/2 years of our shared random journey on random things. I used to think that I would get that exact ring, in true form, when we got engaged.

As I got older, I realized that an actual ring didn’t mean any more than that little picture. I could not think about spending the amount of money my friends were spending on rings; I am not really into material things like that, and I did not like the idea that I got this nice ring and he got nothing (okay, obviously besides me, hehe). For me, an engagement ring just did not make sense.

Note* I really like overusing quotation marks to make sure you understand that that word has many meanings (I also overuse parentheses, my apologies).

Since he and I are not actually getting legally married any time soon (more on that in a later post), we did not really have a traditional “engagement.” We decided last winter that we wanted to have a commitment ceremony for our close friends and family (really just an excuse to throw an awesome party!) My devotee (not a big fan of the word ‘finance’), still wanted to hold onto a bit of tradition and “propose.” He ended up proposing with an Ipad…and it was perfect. What made it perfect was that he drew the same ring he had been drawing for over five years on the Ipad’s screen.

My future husband and I will most likely wear wedding rings (I bought mine for $16 and we had his made by a local jeweler for $100). I have no problem with other people having engagement rings, and I still ask to see the ring after someone announces they are engaged, but after really thinking about the tradition and materialism of an engagement ring, I made the decision that its not for me. I also have a really beautiful ring that he surprised me with the first Christmas we were in our house together (shown above). Why would I need something more?

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