“The soft bonds of love are indifferent to life and death. They hold through time so that yesterday’s love is part of today’s and the confidence in tomorrow’s love is also part of today’s. And when one dies, the memory lives in the other, and is warm and breathing. And when both die — I almost believe, rationalist though I am — that somewhere it remains, indestructible and eternal, enriching all of the universe by the mere fact that once it existed.”-Isaac Asimov
So we are expecting a baby girl at the beginning of February 2015! It’s funny…I started to Google “preparing for a natural…” and it autofilled “disaster,” (instead of the intended ‘birth’) which is a bit what it feels like thinking about becoming a parent. There are so many things to worry about, and to stress over, and I am also mourning a bit the loss of my selfish existence, without the dependency of a child.
We are seeing the midwives at Texas Children’s and we have been very pleased with our experience so far. Besides the extreme “morning sickness” that had taken over my life the first several months, everything else has finally settled and I am well into the last month of the 2nd trimester. Its a strange elation, thinking of this little being growing inside of me. Entering the Fall and our busiest season at the shop and the Mister’s craziest time at work, there’s a rush for life to happen. With so much anticipation of whats next, I sometimes make it impossible to enjoy whats happening in the now. In our mechanized world of speed and efficiency, we sometimes forget that life is a process of ripening, and when I think of all of the stages this baby has to go through I am reminded of that. Seeing the Midwives and practicing Mindful Birthing has helped in trying to experience and observe the rhythm and pulse of this baby and my life as a whole.
I know the time is going to come, with this tiny human awkwardly staring up at us, basically saying, “so, now what?” And I know we will be just fine. I am embracing the fact that life will rarely be balanced, and that it doesn’t need to be for everyone to be happy. Thank you for all of the love and well wishes we have already received-this baby is going to be in such good company.